Spontaneity (the truth in conversation)

I bring the worst of the worst of all things This Writer of The Blog. That Most Disgusting and Primal of writing: Instant Messaging.
(Co-written by Teresa of T-Zone negligence, without her knowledge.)
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Rebecca : You'd think zombie would be a little more, well, rotten. Are you sure it's not more Vampire?
Teresa: I guess you're a Vampire.
Rebecca : lol
Rebecca : I'm typing lol. I'm typing, but I'm not laughing. [ http://www.youtube.com/watch?v=up-RX_YN7yA ]
Rebecca : lim [Laugh In Mind, a term that I didn’t come up with. A friend of a friend, who’s also a friend, did.]
Teresa: Ah.
Rebecca : Yup....
Rebecca : lipsmack.
Teresa: O.o
Rebecca : I'm sitting here silently, feeling like I'm in the middle of a satisfied pause after a good, long conversation.
Rebecca : Doing the whole lipsmacking thing.
Rebecca : Grinning goofily, listening to the Mid-West music in my head.
Rebecca : It's kinda hillbilly.
Rebecca : And yet more akin to country, and little bit like Spaghetti Western.
Teresa: >.> ...Are you...a nutcase?
Rebecca : No, I'm a Rockbiter!
Teresa: A Rockbiter?!
Rebecca : But, wait.... am I a Rockbiting Vampire now?
Rebecca : Nooooooo!
Rebecca : Nooooooo!
Rebecca : Noooooooo!
Rebecca : I dropped my ice.....
Teresa: XDDD
Rebecca : Susss.
Teresa: Hm?
Rebecca : You need to answer the species question.
Rebecca : I'm so confused.
Rebecca : Self-unidentified.
Rebecca : I can't continue on like this! Can't you understand!
Teresa: I guess...you're...a Becca.
Rebecca : And that's a species now...
Teresa: It is. It's an alien.
Rebecca : The allmighty... Becca.
Rebecca : Oh, an alien.
Teresa: Yes.
Rebecca : ...From what planet?
Teresa: Beccaisms.
Teresa: No, wait!
Teresa: You're a Beccaism from the planet Becca!
Rebecca : Beccaism is a species?
Rebecca : Beccabrainanism?
Teresa: XD
Teresa: LOL!
Rebecca : For reals?
Rebecca : Me too! Lolling!
Teresa: XD
Rebecca : So, what do they on Planet Beccasm - Wait, that name sounds questionable.. - Beccabrainaism?
Rebecca : Mastodons?
Teresa: I...don't know.
Teresa: You tell me.
Rebecca : Hairy Mammoths?
Rebecca : They probably draw cave drawings too.
Rebecca : Of all them Vermicious K’nids.
Rebecca : Or the Lix.....
Teresa: Hm. Lixx.
Teresa: Nasty group
Rebecca : Masterhope, no! Stay away!
Teresa: o.o
Rebecca : It's trying to sell me porn, you know.
Rebecca : But, I won't have it. It's got no flavor.
Teresa: O.o Oh...
Rebecca : Now who told you that you could spell Lix with two Xx's.
Teresa: I like it that way. XD
Rebecca : Why?
Rebecca : Does the second x (sultry voice, that I don't actually have) empower you?
Teresa: XD

Enter a long pause.

Rebecca : Which seems to be pretty normal for IM conversations. It's amazing how we can be talking about something, leave for 15-20 mins, and pick right back up where we left off.
Rebecca : Simply stunning.
Rebecca : And yet we don't even think a second thought about, except for me right now.
Rebecca : As opposed to me right later, when I won't think about it anymore.
Rebecca : We, or I rather, can talk about this for a good half hour and then we'll go right back to the other thing, simply by scrolling up.
Rebecca : I wonder who invented scrolling up?
Rebecca : I wonder why my brain starts think in bad British-impersonation accents when I start rambling like this?
Rebecca : Do you ever think in bad British-impersonation accents?
Teresa: Nope.
Rebecca : Never?
Teresa: Nope.
Rebecca : Well bollocks to you.
Rebecca : (Incidentally, Bollocks comes from an Anglo-Saxon word meaning testicles, so it may not be in proper form to use from now on, hm?.....)
Teresa: O.o
Teresa: Ew.
Rebecca : Yah...
Teresa: Ewwwwwwwwwww.
Rebecca : Actually, Prick is also slang for the same thing, so I should probably refrain from that from now on.
Rebecca : Ah, yes. The harsh truth about slang.
Rebecca : But enough of such trivial, yet disgusting, things.
Rebecca : Let us dance, DANCE!
Teresa: O.O
Rebecca : (Enter the waltz, which I'm doing alone.)
Teresa: *turns on music*
Rebecca : Wah! You can't do that, I was singing some- wait, is it for the dance, or are you just tuning it out?
Teresa: The dance.
Rebecca : What song?
Rebecca : Or, speaking in time, What song-a?
Teresa: "Can I have this dance", from HSM3. XD
Rebecca : Ner!
Teresa: Fine.
Rebecca : I hardly even remember that one.
Teresa: Dance to this. XD
Rebecca : I don't think you can do the Waltz to that one. Or even the Salsa.
Teresa: XD
You have received 1 file from Teresa.
Loves Me Not - Tatu.wav
Open

Rebecca : Maybe a Waltz on highspeed. (Is that even a Waltz anymore?)
Rebecca : Nope, doesn't count right.
Rebecca : It'll have to be the Macarena. You can do the Macarena to anything.
Rebecca : Even the Barnie song ("I love you"). Try it.
Rebecca : If you time it right, you can do the hugging during the hugging line.
Rebecca : Maybe.

(Another pause....)

Rebecca : Are you actually doing it?
Teresa: No.
Rebecca : Oh....
Rebecca : I was gonna put it on Youtube and everything....
Teresa: YOU do it and embarrass yourself.
Rebecca : Not until the Star-spangled Banner on the duck call is up.
Teresa: Eh.
Rebecca : Not your cup of tea?
Rebecca : (Darjeeling, darling?)

Rebecca : (And yet another pause.... Nooooooo! My Phoooooone!)

Teresa: Phone?
Rebecca : Yes, the one I dropped.
Rebecca : But, that's not important.
Teresa: You dropped it?
Rebecca : Oh, no! That's not important. Haha-ha-haha.
Teresa: ...
Rebecca : No it didn't smash into a million pieces. Pleasedon'ttelldad.
Teresa: O.o
Teresa: What?
(She comes down to check...)
Rebecca : I lied.
Teresa: Liar!
Teresa: Just like [Aaaactually this was a private joke.]
Rebecca : No, I declare a moratorium on all things related!
Rebecca : I thought we covered that back in slang!
Teresa: XD
Rebecca : It's surprisingly hard to keep the momentum going, you know? Maybe that's why there’s been more successful solo comedians. I mean, when was the last time you actually heard a decent comedy skit done by more than one parson.
Rebecca : Or a parson at all, for that matter.
Rebecca : Not to call us comedians, which is somewhat presumptuous. That would be assuming that we're funny.
Rebecca : And it's an awfully funny person who assumes his funny without outside input.

(Moooore Awkward Silence-Maaaaan!)

BUZZ!!!
Teresa: I had nothing to say.
Teresa: Stop buzzing me.
Rebecca : You're killing the momentum.
Teresa: Eh. I think Spider Near is more interesting.
Rebecca : You're ruining the great big joke I have in store for you.
Teresa: Hm?
Rebecca : You wanna know?
Teresa: Sure
Rebecca : I'm gonna post this whooooole conversation on my blog!
Teresa: Really?
Rebecca : Bye!

YouTube Ate Me (and titles go in all-caps)

"So, where've you been Kelly!"
What, I'm not Kelly! Kelly's a boys name. At least it is in the UK, where that tiny little Barbie is known as Shelly. The first time I saw that I had no idea why the cloths said Shelly on the back. I thought Toys R Us was selling a weird off-brand.

"Well, enough about you Kelly."
I told you, my name's not Kelly. Kelly is a boys name, and I'm clearly a girl. Never mind the fact that I'm speaking in a girl-pretending-to-be-a-guy-with-a-mock-British-accent voice. Good great goshness and all that. Cherio. That's what I want for breakfast. Cherrios.

"Kelly...."
I'm hungry, dang it. And what've I told me about writing when I'm hungry! Well, actually nothing. But that's entirely besides the point! What've you been up to, also not Kelly?

"Oh, I just had a life altering event that you can't follow..."
Swallow.
"What?"
I can't swallow. I could follow it, you see. But I can't swallow it.
"No, Kelly. You can't follow."
Are you saying I can't handle it? Is it TOO MUCH for me?! Is that it!? Huh, huh, HuuuuUUUUUHHHHH?!!!
"......................"

"You should go eat if your hungry."
You're right.....

INTERVENTION - I mean -MISSION!
Wait, does that mean that the intermission is out to save something? Or maybe it's in the middle of something? Like inter-mission. The middle of the mission. In the middle of the mission they took a break. Yeah.
BE QUITE and EAT!

Commercial

Kevin: Jessie.... when're we gonna be a chums again?
Jessie: I'd say when the I wins the girl.
Jessie rides off on his too-cool-for-you motorcycle.
Narrator: In a place where a couple guys lived.

Kevin lies in bed.
Kevin: Deity..... If you really give a care.
Narrator: In time of something lacked hope.
Kevin: Maybe you could help us forget the girl a little.
Narrator: ....... I forgot my lines......
Kevin: I'd really like.... to be a chums again.

Sports announcer on a mike: Modern and fantasy collide, and the plot is blown!
Enter the music they use in every Aristocats commercial.

Guy in fantasy garb: Just call me Alison!
Kevin stares.
Alison: No believes that's my real name but you.
Announcer: (Tone of disbeleif) How did he get here!

Kevin talks to Gary.
Kevin: This guy came out of nowhere and he picked up somebody's car.
Gary: Great a psycho-guy!

Jessie in a well-dressed room, talking to a girl.
Jessie: I felt some kind of power coming from somewhere. It must've been that shiny thing I found inside that cave.
Narrator: Oh, yeah! They give the world...."
Alison flashes a debonaur smile while riding a bicycle...
Narrator: Something to believe in....
and he crashes into a lamp-post.
Narrator: Or laugh at.

A crowd of people sit in assembly in front of a well dressed Jessie, who stands on a stage.
Jessie: You can call it magic...
Alison: I won't work for anyone but a certain Evil Lord.
Jessie: You can call it strength...
Gary: That goes for me too.
Jessie: You can call it whatever you like.
Kevin: Wait, what?

A guy and a girl stand outside on the street.
Guy: We need some kind of clue.
Girl: I'll go ask that guy, okay? (pointing to Kevin)

Dramitic words come flying out of nowhere with a dramatic pounding and that music from the Narnia commercials, completely overtaking Everybody Wants To Be A Cat.

Blog: The Movie

Commercial end

Bawhahah-hoho. BWaaaaaa!
"Oh, knock it off, Kelly. What is it?"
Sniff. We don't have any Cherrios. I had to eat Rice Che-he-he-he-hex! Ah-ha-ha. (PS, the crying not laughter.) Boohoohoohoo.
"Oh, stop it! You're making my mock-British accent thicker. I can't stand it when you get this way."
And I can't stand it when you call me Kelly. If you call me Kelly again, I'm gonna have to do something painful to you.
"Kelly." She said with a flat tone and annoyed expression, as she shot me de-

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This blog is brought to you by- Oh, shoot. I'm running late!

Click this link. You want to click this link!

I found a new program so.... no new story today.

I wrote the song. It's on my website. But, I didn't animate the video. Well, I arranged the video, but I didn't animate them. Such gloss is only managed by people with lots of prestige and money, like Disney. Oh, wait.

Hit me up with another short post!

Life

“Why?” asked the toddler
as the toy was taken away,
wiped clean,
and put on a higher shelf

“Why?” asjed the child
who was told by her mother
not to slack
and to ruin a perfectly organized room

“Why?” asked the teen
who was told to stay home
by herself
and to never have any fun in the evenings

“Why?” asked the young woman
who was told she couldn’t do the job
to go home
and to start her mad search all over again

“Why?” asked the woman
when she told he wasn’t ready
Let’s be friends
keep in touch. We’ll see.

“Why?” asked the mother
as the child refused to listen
or look,
or even acknowledge she was speaking

From the author of The Apple Kingdom...

And so, as Halloween drew closer, so too did the kitchen cupboard become more filled with candy. Little Abby-Aaron snuck into the kitchen, his little grubby fingers groping widely at the air. “Just one won’t be missed.” He told himself with wide eyes and a devious smile.
However, just as he was reaching into the bag, a clawed hand made entirely out of candy reached out and grabbed Abby-Aaron by the wrist, pulling him in.
Inside the cupboard, he let out silent screams as he found himself packed into the bag he’d just been reaching for - as a roll of Smarties!

There he stayed unable to be heard, unable to move. “Dear Lord,” He thought. “If ever I get out of here, I swear I’ll never sneak another piece of candy again!” The nights went on as he thought and prayed. But, Halloween came upon them all too soon. His surroundings shifted. He could feel the bag move. He looked up, shocked. His mother was pouring the bag, and Abby-Aaron, into the candy bowl. He landed on a pile of assorted Hershey’s and Reese’s with a roll, crunch, and an echoing crinkle.

The hours went by. His heart leapt- for all the sugar it was now- every time the doorbell rang. However, each time he thought he was done for the children would dig further into the bowl, scrounging wildly for the milk chocolate underneath him. He was buried, lost in tide of sugar and plastic. A nearby roll broke beside him and threw some of its broken, powdery pieces onto his package. He froze in terror. The bowl was placed down. And for a while, nothing happened. He began to think that all the children were done. His spirits rose. Then, the doorbell rang.

Ring-a-ding! He felt his heart jump in his wrapper. Ring-a-ding! His sister came to the door. Ring-a-ding! She lifted the near-empty bowl off the wooden stool. Creeeeeeak!
“Trick or Treat!” He heard a terrible squeal, high and cracking. He could’ve sworn his soul sweated where his powder body couldn’t. The bowl was lowered. He could see the cloudy sky, the roof of their porch- covered in cobwebs. And, he saw the beast. It lowered its stubby hands into the plastic dish and rustled around, pulling him out with another terrifying squeal! He screamed, screamed, though no one heard him. He fell, forever it seemed, into a white, airy tube. Thud! He landed in a sea of assorted snacks and prematurely empty wrappers.

He was waiting again, and looking around widely. He could feel something rapidly pulsing inside him. Blood, sugar? Fear! The minutes, hours, days (he thought) passed by. Nothing was around him but candy and white. Nothing happened but the shaking, and the eating. Finally, it was his turn. He felt the round serpents wrap themselves around him and pull him up. She looked at him directly, confidently, hungrily, and she stripped him of his cover. Immediately, he felt himself fall apart both physically and mentally. She reached down and gobbled up the first piece: his feet, a delectable orange. His mind blanked in shock. He began to lose himself in every way. And…….
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No one was sure what had happened to Abby-Aaron. Most assumed he’d been kidnapped by some child predator on Halloween night. Most learned to put his memory aside. Thus, his tale went untold for many long years, until….
“Jacob, we shouldn’t! It’s not Halloween yet!”
“Just one won’t be missed!”

Assorted Poems (A toon before the show)

Mist on the Treeline

Gold and Green
Spires reaching for the heavens
Arms reaching for the world
Standing
In sporadic lines
Constant, Fading, green and graying

A sea
Of white embraces them
Holds possessively to what eyes
Can’t
Reach

Sinking
Giants sink into each other
Row by Row
Thicker by the line

Drowning in white
Natures Titans fade slowly, gradually
Semi-sweet chocolate in watery milk
Silhouetted on a blind horizon

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You don’t need a thesis for a poem
(Working title)


I’m breathing her warmth
Her fine fibers soaking into my lungs
She shifts
It’s soft like pancakes
Tubby soft expands and recedes
Suffocating
“Get off my face, Kitty!”
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Ode to the Lamp-post

Ode to the Lamp-post
May you stand forever
And if you do
The man who made you
May ever be called clever

(I know, you've seen the last one before, but what the hey. Right?)

Greatest Game in the World..... Tribute.

Castle of the May Sigh on the Pale Blue Water
(A tribute)

.

****

祉福明け ................. (shifuku ake – blessed Dawn)
湖の中 ..................... (mizuumi no naka – upon the lake)

ぞうげ城 ................... (zouge shiro – ivory castle)
残された物 ................(nokosareta mono – that which was left behind)
華麗な強さ ............... (karei na tsuyosa – an elegant strength)

.

**********

.

The blessings of Dawn
Sitting on the lake surface
Ivory Castle
Left by the ancients
Standing strong and elegant

.

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Authors note: This work was a collaborative effort between myself, Mom (who knows how to use a dictionary), and my sister, Eleanor (who is a walking Jap-English dictionary). Wait, what did I do?

There is no more, have a nice day.

Marlo stood agape. Someone had set his stuffed owl on fire.
"Wicky-woo!" He called to the charred fluffy remains, which were dangling from a tree by a jump-rope around it's neck. Marlo jumped up and down, trying to reach it, but it was too high for his 6 yr old arms to reach.

He ran inside, scrapping to a stop in the wood-floored living room.
"We just varnished that." His brother said, with his nose in a book. Marlo started to stutter and panic.
"Wi-wi-wi! Wicky-woo-hooo!" His brother looked up.
"What about him?"
"H-he-he! He's in the- Help!" Marlo turned a fine shade of red from the continuous screaming. His brother rolled his eyes and turned back to the book. "Wicky-woo!" Marlo cried again.
His brother rolled his eyes a second time and put a marker in his book.
"Yah, yah." He said, messing Marlo's hair as he stood. "Let's go see ol' Wicky."

Soon, his brother was standing with a mouth wide open. Marlo hopped up and down, reaching wildly. "Help!" He cried. A tremendous grin spread across his brothers face as he took in the sight. Marlo stopped jumping and ran up to him. "Oh, please help!" He said again, pointing to the tree. His brother looked down at him and, with a mischievous look in his eyes, said: "I think someone's out to kill you."

Hanging in the doorway (aka Experiment 645, chapter b, subsection 12)

Lord, they’re in the way.
(We) Can’t just let them stay.
No. Come here, my dear!

Look, right here. Right here!
Get the broom. Come here!
Up there, by this door.

And, right there are some more.
Just come and do this chore!
Come here and shoo the webs.


Gracious, Holly. Yelling
loudly about webbing
isn’t proper manners.

Mark, this is no time
for jokes , and if I find
just one missed web then I-

This place looks like a sty!
Yet, all day there you lie.
Get up and do some work!

And if you dare to shirk,
if all day there you lurk,
I’ll throw out that chair.


Darned, Blasted Banshee.
Without delay, lovely!
Supply yonder sweeper.

.

Authors note: Poem was originally typed with some verses on the left side and some on the right. Blogger gets confused when you do that, so I've made the "right side" verses green to differentiate.

I forgot about Fate.

This post has been brought to you by the League of Randomly picked words: Doctor, Knight, candlestick, spatula, shiny, and Fate.

I couldn’t concentrate on the game. The thought of my upcoming doctor’s appointment plagued me every moment.
“Your move.” Jackie said. I looked up from my thoughts, being pulled back to the break room.
“Oh, right.” I moved my knight three spaces to the left and accomplished nothing. Jackie shook her head and moved her bishop. “Checkmate.”
I nodded absentmindedly, returning to my thoughts.
“You know, Jane. You really-“ She sighed. I looked up at the sagely advice she thought I never listened to. “Never mind. Let’s get back to work.”

Leaving the break room, I picked an order up off the counter and pushed into the kitchen. Anthony was inside, doing juggling tricks with a spatula. He called out to me as I passed. “Hey, Jane! We’re going to Vegas this weekend, just you and me!” I giggled and shook my head. Although the thought of Los Vegas had its appeal, Anthony was really the last person I planned on going with.

After delivering a few orders, Roger, the clerk, pulled me aside and pointed out a table.
“…and the man wants candle light, and champagne the moment his partner arrives. So, when she’s seated…”
I nodded, but fixed my gaze on the attractive man I was to be serving. He looked rich; a doctor or lawyer maybe… Finally, Roger finished and left me to my work. It wasn’t long before the woman came in: blindfolded. Roger led her by the hand and had her seated across from the man. They looked good together. I came just as the blindfold was being taken off and placed a candlestick in the middle of the table. The look on her face was classic. No, cliché maybe. As I poured the champagne, he pulled something shiny out of his pocket and handed it to his partner. She looked so filled with joy. I felt like an intruder on there moment. Or maybe this is what extras feel like in a play.

Having played my part, I couldn’t stand another moment of it. I took their order and left just as the hugging started. Back in the kitchen, I was also back to my own life. Anthony winked at me and I rolled my eyes back at him. Still, Vegas didn’t sound bad now.