"Daddy, tell me a story."
"I'm not a daddy, honey."
"Oh....Mommy, tell me a story."
"Well, once upon a time...."
Yes, folks, this is it. It's finally gotten to the point where we have to make cliché stories like this.
Flashing back to the most purple of scenes, and semi-going into character....
"Now, as I was saying before the narrator cut me off..."
Sorry...
".........Right, anyway. There was once a girl who walked into her front door."
"Uh huh."
"And when she walked into the door, she said something that really has no relevance to this story."
"Oooh."
"But then, she stuck her hand out and said "Chocolate." Now, the girls mother, being the person she was talking too, replied with query. "Chocolate?"..."
"Yah?"
"And then the girl said again "Chocolate!" Of course this baffled the mother greatly, but she then assumed that the girl must've wanted the afore mentioned food...if you can call it that."
"And then?"
"Well, the girl got her chocolate and accepted it readily, but still felt unfulfilled at her mothers misinterpretation of her earlier spoken phrase."
"And then? Did the mother ever find out what she meant?"
"No, dear. The world blew up, but not before the girl wrote a blog."
Whoa! This paragraph, though possibly at normal paragraph length, is way to long for this blog. So, we're just gonna have an intermission real quick.
(Here plays that song from the Monty Python and the Holy Grail intermission, or just the song playing in the very end of the Sound of Music. But, personally, I'm listening Heart. Have a nice day.)
"Now, where was I? Before the narrator cut me off."
....Girl wrote a blog."A yes."
"Momma, who are you talking to?"
"Never mind, dear. Anyway, after the world blew up the thought of that young girl traveled all the way over to the other end of the universe, where it lodged itself firmly in the brain of a dreaming young man."
"Oh, does it have to be a man."
"No, I guess it could be a transvestite."
"......""Anyway, which incidentally is a word I use far to often..."
"Oh, do go on, Father."
"Mother, boy, mother. This young man woke with quite start, and discovered himself longing to greet people. So, he walked outside..."
"And got eaten by a Godtill-Rex?"
"No, that was Susan's fate. He walked outside and walked up to his mother, who for no reason was wearing one of those odd leather tops that I'll kill you if you wore. But, getting back on subject. He walked up to his mother and said... "Chocolate." The mother thought this was very bizarre and shook her head at him disapprovingly."
"Momma, I think it's time for another intermission."
(Here plays an intermission, all for the sake of making unneeded space.)
"... Hmm. "Chocolate." He said, this time extending his hand in the introductory fashion. But the mother was still confused. And when he called out "Chocolate!" again, this time with frustration, she decided to call a doctor."
"Huuuuuh?"
"Now don't fall asleep, dear. It's just getting good. Normally, you don't call a doctor for just this reason, but she wanted an excuse to see the cute doctor again anyway."
"Zzzz."
"When she took him to the doctor he told her... "Your son is being haunted by strange dreams. We must find out the meaning of these dreams, lest your son be cursed forever." And the mother, now fairly distraught 'cause the doctor turned her down again, said...
"How do you know this?" I know, fairly short line for such a long description. The doctor simply replied "He told me.", which baffled the mother to the point of actually caring what was really wrong with her son."
"Ssssnoooore."
"The doctor simply said...wait, this is the second simple response in a row. Hmmm, he must be a very simple man. Anyway, the doctor answered her with this.
"Your son is not really sick, and he can say much more then chocolate. But he's plagued by these dreams he had last night. And he can't get them out of his head."
The mother came to a new understanding, an understanding that would change her life, one that would make everything different. This doctor wasn't so cool after all, she didn't care about him anymore and went straight for her son."
Mm hmmm, zzzzz.
"Hmm, I'm a little hungry. "Son?" She asked the young man. "What can you tell us about your dream." The son sat up from his reclined position and looked her straight in the eye. "....Chocolate." The mother twitched.
Then, the now-not-so-cool doctor walked in. Not sure when he left in the first place, but he's back now with a big machine. "Don't worry, with this machine we can look straight into his subconscious mind." The mother was impressed by the word subconscious that her interest in him was rekindled and would trust him to do anything."
Mmm? Oh, sorry. Can you do something about the constant in character thing?
"No, I can not."
Now for a brief interlude, cause all this dialog with nothing out of quotation marks is starting to get to me.
"You could always relinquish narration rights to me."Don't push y'er luck.
"After hooking up the machine to the young mans head, they could all see his thoughts in a screen. Well, all except the boy who was wandering his subconscious. They all saw a place far on the other end of the universe, a place that recently blew up, a place that looked a lot like a messy kitchen. And in that kitchen was the mother of the girl.
She was pulling out chocolate, and eating it without the girl. The girl, hearing the sound of crinkling wrappers, walked into the kitchen and said "Chocolate" while holding out her hand. "Is that a new kind of greeting?"
The girls mother asked. "Chocolate?" And for some reason the memory skipped to a few seconds later where they where joking about using it as a real greeting. Then, the dream ended."
"Yaaawn, momma are you still talking?"
"Mmhmm. The boy opened his mouth and said one word. "Chocolate." The doctor said." And hello to you too."
The mother didn't quite get it, but with a top like that the blood probably is having trouble flowing anywhere, much less the brain. The point was that someone understood him, and that made him smile. "Thank you." He said, which made his mothers mouth drop. "Somehow, I feel I can rest easy now." But was that the boy talking or the memory?
Either way, the boy decided to spread the lingo and eventually saying "Chocolate" became a fad. The End."
And I think I was gonna kill someone else off at the end, but I forgot who. So, I'll just have to spare 'em. They can wait until I get a flat tire.
