Pst, this title did not just change behind your back.

Dear diary- What the heck? What happened to my font?

There.
Dear diary, my cat likes to lick rocks and rusted metal. What could be missing from her diet?
Oh, wait! Diaries can't talk.

Le Chuck! (crash)

And now, it's story time.
Once upon a time there was a cat. She was a sweet and beautiful....

If I have to hear anymore Sonic my heads gonna go boom.
Now, where was I? Ah, yes.

Once upon a December a couple people kissed and they had a bouncy baby br- Wait, what? I didn't write that!

Sorry, we are experiencing spinal difficulties today? What? Technical? .....
Well, yes. Technically speaking.

Ring-a-ling!
"Al's Used pizza, how may I help you?"
"Hehe, someone set us up the bomb."
"Yes sir, mam. One bomb pizza coming right up."
.........
Caliiick!


"Hank!"
"Yes, Marta?"
"Did you call in for strange pizza again?"
No.... and I'm not Hank.

And so it was said that a few hours passed, thus a bad reputation was...hatched?
And finally, after long hours of waiting, the pizza came. Of course, by this point Hank had forgotten all the call. He'd also forgotten all about what he'd said during it or even why he'd said it in the first place. In fact he was rather contemplating how to duplicate the life style of a Hun. Which was an odd notion since he'd never even heard of a Hun before.
This disturbed him greatly.

And then
Ring Ring
the door rang. (Oh, no you don't. You get that color right back where it belongs.)
Hank looked to it, surprised, shocked. Ashamed even that he might be caught during this his time of trial. Mentally I mean.

He narrowed his eyes, and widened them, then narrowed them again. He got up, slowly now- Wait a minute, Hank is a girl!

She got up, slowly now, and crept toward the door. She slowly opened it, gulping.
And behold, outside was a- What the heck happened to my font!
Odd, it looked perfectly normal in preview. Hmm, oh well.

Where was I?
Ah, yes. The princess and the pea. No wait, let's make it a carrot. I don't like peas.

The Princess and the Carrot.

Once upon a time there was a girl with a nice, big family. And she acted like the world was her toy. This, of course, was because it was a ball.
Not a globe, just a ball that looked like the world.
And she craved the rest of it, wanted to hold it in the palm of her hand. Which would require her to be very large.

But she also wish for unimaginable beauty, which would generally mean she'd be very thin.
These conflicting interests were a source of great irritation and and she was constantly grumpy.
Finally it got so bad that they decided to give up on the story entirely.

I'm sorry, that's it for today. It probably sucked, but, hey, it's a living.
Well, not really. But okay.

This post has been brought to you by spontaneously combusting specks of dust, who's only wish was to see a post done more then once a month. Sadly, our sponser had to leave early in order to self combust, a fact which had to cut today's post short.

Let's all have a moment of silence for the self combusting speck.

Funny how we seem to be leaning towards monthly updates. A problem I'll try to remedy sometime.

"Behold, the long awaited child of peace."

"What?"
Franko looked through the darkness about him. A confused look was upon his face.
"O...kay."

"And with you has come the revolution."

"Wha!"
Again the voice spoke from nowhere. Franko looked about, confused once again.
"Who the heck is that?"

"It is I," Franko stiffened up. "The voice what shall proclaim your destined path, oh child of peace."
Franko's limbered up, disappointed.
"So, what's this about?" Franko waved his hand in the air impatiently.

"Ahem, as I was saying..." The voice cleared it's throat and put on it's "smart glasses". Except you wouldn't be able to see it, since it's just a boomy voice.
"Behold, the long awaited child of peace."

"Wait a minute!" Franko declared. "Are you calling me... a kid."
"Well you are, aren't you?"
"No!"
"How old are you?"
"Sixteen!"

"Oh bugger that." The voice mumbled. Well, as much as he can, being a booming voice. "Give 'em ten years and they think their all grown up, don't they."

"You know, I can hear you." Franko tapped his foot impatiently. "Where am I?"

"You are in the darkness of prophetic purpose."
"Huh?"
"Just what I said." The voice cleared it's voice again. "Now as I was saying..."

"Yah, yah, I get it. The child of peace." Franko glared up at what he thought might've been the sky. "Look, I think you've got the wrong guy. I'm not some child of peace."

"Do you like to spread peace?"
"No."
"And are you at peace now?"
"What do you think?!"

"Then you are a child of peace in the sense that this unpleasantry is not peaceful. Since you have no wish for peace it brings you peace to know this."

"What?" Franko place a hand on his side and looked at the once-again-assumed-sky.
"Or perhaps peace makes you unhappy. If you are unhappy then this is further proof of the peace abound."

Franko just looked the "sky" flabbergasted, dumbfounded, and some other -ed worded.
"Ah, but when it comes down to it anything that makes you unhappy or brings inner peace to you is a sign of peace. Thus, though shalt always be a Child of Peace."

Franko just stared.
"Look, I don't have time for this. How do I get out of this darkness."

"Ye must awaken form thine dreaming state." The voice had grown rather fond of his new accent. Much like the mustache you still couldn't see.

"O-kay." Franko looked at the sky funny for what he hoped was the last time. "Well, I'll just be on my way. Ciao!"
Franko walked in some random direction, hoping it would get him out.

CLUNK!
Franko opened his eyes to discover he'd clocked himself on the nearest cabinet. He stared up at a sky that was rather brown...and wood like.
"Man, can't you ever be blue."

A girl peered over his head. She had auburn hair, pearly skin, and eyes like- Why does this matter?
Anyway, the girl looked him over. She mustta thought he was pretty hot or something, because we're going off topic again.

"Franko, are you okay?" Her look of concern was quite.... hungry. I'm hungry, I could go for a burrito. One moment please.

Intermission!

(Enter the Hallelujah Chorus)

"And now for an abrupt return!" Boomed the voice, for the last time. The tears filled it's eyes. "Thank you, thank you."

"Franko, look at me."

Franko sat up, and looked at the girl he was already looking at. Okay, that was a little redundant.

"Who am I, Franko." The girl asked him.

"Clastrophobia, second cousin of are former lord and heir apparent to the throne."

"Yes." She smiled. "Now, what's are mission?"

"To hunt down the murderer of our lord and avenge them."

"Excellent, you seem to be fine. But who was our lord?"

"The great lord Mastafesta, of course." Franko looked at her almost offended. "You think I'd forget something like that?"

Clastro smiled even wider and hugged Franko. You might notice we made a nickname for her, or two.

"Now let's go downstairs." She released and walked out.

A few seconds later...

"Hey, Franko! I hear you hit your head."

Franko looked toward his friend, Alison, and sighed.

"Word gets round quick I take it."

"Nah." Alison grinned. "I could actually hear the clunk."

Alison, I might add, is a guy. He looks like a guy, sounds like a guy, and does everything like a guy. But for reason he's named Alison.

"Talk about cheap sound effects, eh? Couldn't even be bothered to think up decent names. I mean , come on, Franko?"

Franko ignored this comment.

"Find any leads?" Franko asked, seating himself across from Alison.

"Nah, I forgot what we were supposed to ask about." Clastro popped Alison with the nearest plate.

Franko just smiled and placed his hands on his chin. No wait, it's the other way around.

"Tell 'im what it is, Phobie."

"Yah, tell 'im what it is." Alison mocked, earning him another pop on the head.

"The cape." Clastophobia stated. "The man who killed her took her cape."

Alison looked almost shocked, and most certainly annoyed.

"You mean we're looking for a cape?" He barked.

"Hey, it's the only lead we got." Clastro argued.

"Yah, but do you realize how many capes are out there?"

"Well, what am I supposed to d-......

The argument trailed off in Franko's eyes. He'd completely put it out if his mind and started dreaming out the window. Right about now he almost felt as if he could fly out of it.

"Inner peace." Flashed a faint, but booming cameo appearance.

Franko's eyes flashed open with rage. His concentration broken, the sound of the argument leaked back in.

Once again discontent, glowered and stamped up.

Suddenly, a flash of white outside. His eyes grew so wide, though more with horror then rage this time.

"Oh my god."

"What god?" Alison asked, looking bordley his way. Then he saw it too. Clastro as well.

She gasped, tears of horror streamed down her face.

"It's...."

The end of the post!