Mary-Sue Project - Part 3

We will return to Mary-Sue Project - Part 3 after these messages.

Gary: Sigh. Why don't the chicks dig me?
Tiff: Because they all love them Bishonen peoples.
Gary: What's a bi show nen?
Tiff: It's one 'o them a-nee-may guys with long hair, narrow faces, swords that seem to be compensating for something, and really long dark coats.
Gary: Gee, I'll never be one of those.
Tiff: Do ya have a sword?
Gary: Yah.
Tiff: Do ya have a long coat?
Gary: Yah.
Tiff: And your face is narrow enough, so what's the problem?
Gary: I'll never grow long hair in time to attract the ladies.
Tiff: Sure ya do!
Gary: I do?
Tiff: With Hair Grow, you can have all the hair you like! Green hair! (A man with a green Mohawk think that reaches three stories appears) Red hair! (A man in a knock-off kilt walks in.) Flowing, long black hair with blue highlights! (Take your pick....)
Gary: Wow, with Hair Grow I can get all the chicks I want! Huzzah! (Hold out a bottle.)
(Oh, no. You are not seeing an image of him after the fact.)
All: Hair Grow, for hair so fine! It makes me not bald, and it makes my hair shine! Hair Groooow!
Gary: Use Hair Grow!
Tiff: The market's been screaming for it!

We now return to the Mary-Sue Project - Part 3. We apologize for running over time.

"Cynthia!" Franko chased after the bandit floating through the air (by use of his magical cape).
"Don't worry about me, Franko." Cynthia called after. "Tell father to, no matter what, never give into his demands! I'll be fine!"

With that, the lady disappeared into the night leaving only faint bandit laughter on the breeze.
"No, no, Cynthia!"
"Oh, calm down Franko." Clastro sat beside the unconscious lord. "This is not how an Evil Lord's vassal should act."
"Which evil lord are we serving again?" Alison walked around in a daze.
"We have to save her." Franko turned and faced the others with a dramatic swish.
"I think he's infected." Alison said with a pointed finger. That is, he was pointing. He finger didn't say anything.
"Completely hopeless." Clastro shook her head. "You heard the tart. She doesn't want to be saved. She-"
"Don't call her a tart!" Franko snapped. "She's... she's... She's beautiful."
"Ho, crap." Alison pointed to the ceiling and fell backwards.

Scene Change!
The boys sat in Cynthia's living room, thinking. Franko thought about Cynthia's expression as that man took off with her. It's my fault. He thought. If we hadn't insisted on having every person with a cape invited to that party, he never would've made it into the house.
Alison thought of different things. Man, too bad the party ended early. I was gonna eat some of those tarts once I was hungry again.

Clastro walked back out of the room where they'd layed the lord of the manor to rest. She sat down across from them and sighed. The boys looked at her expectantly.
"Her father said...." They waited and gulp. Clastro dropped her head. "to go get her." The guys cheered.
"I knew we couldn't leave her!" Franko exclaimed.
"What kinda evil are you?" Clastro mumbled.
Alison also cheered. "Y-es! We're gonna kick some buutt, we're gonna kick some buutt." Clastro cupped her head in her palm. "Unbelievable."

After careful (and very dramatically filmed) preparation, with the supervision of Cynthia's father (and a determined background), the three made their way up the mountain which the bandit called home. I have no idea what the rest of the people called it. On their way up they saw a giant bear (which was actually a rock) that scared Alison out of the few wits he had, and he ran all the way down the mountain until they had to start again. Three attempts later they saw the bear for what it was.

Seemingly hours passed as they trekked up the mountain side. Franko was filled with courage as cinematic background music swelled from the hills. Bunnies came out of hiding and ran across the fields, foxes soon joined them in their frolic. The two groups eventually crossed the path and stopped at the trio's feet as if to..... The three continued on, ignoring the savage wild life.

They got up into the beautiful heights of the mountain, looking down into the misty valleys. It was a sight to behold, accent by the whistling cold wind and Alison's whining.
"My feet hurt, dang it. Princess Pantyhose can wait until after our break."
"Much as I hate agreeing with him, I think we should take a break." Clastro looked to Franko for the final call. He nodded.
"Yah, we should- Wait, do you hear that?" The three strained their ears. "That singing, it's-"
"A nightmare." Clastro mumbled.
Alison listened for a moment. "Can't she wait until after- Okay, don't look at me like that. Geesh."

The sound came from just up the mountain. They followed it only a short distance until they came to a cave. The innocent sound of the lovely Cynthia echoed from within like a leaf on the lake. It made the dark, dank cave seem like a heaven on earth. Without a word, as if under a spell, the Franko made his way into the cave. (The others tailed behind with similar silence.) The winding natural maze was made easy by her guiding song. Finally, a small light shone and they walked into a natural, well rounded room. The kind you find bandits in in all the video games. In the back of the room, a pot was boiling over a fire. Cynthia was standing by it, singing to her captor.

"Hey," Alison cut in. Cynthia stopped suddenly. "what's going on here?"

"She's so beautiful." The bandit had tears in his eyes. "I have to make her my bride."
"I don't think so!" Franko came up and struck a pose similar to Alison's current fist-in-the-air one. Realizing how weird it was, he quickly abandoned it.
"You've come to save me?" Cynthia looked troubled, almost on the verge of tears.
"Yah, well. Much as some of us hated to, we came." Clastro said, brushing her hair back. It got her thinking how not-shiny hers was compared to Cynthia's.
"You shouldn't have. I- I didn't want you in trouble...." They paused for a moment, just so Cynthia could have her dramatic moment. "But, thank you."

"Alright, enough of this!" The bandit pulled a large wooden spoon out of the boiling pot and swung it towards them. "I'll have you know, this woman is going to be my wife."
"Not if we kick your butt first!" Aliso exclaimed. He struck a kung-fu pose and made a weird sound. "Wwwaaaaaa!"
Franko looked around and picked up a chair, which he tried to break on a nearby stone. Well, the back of it broke off anyway. Clastro pulled out a pre-armed ornate sword.

A dramatic battle ensued. Franko jumped higher then was normally possible for him and clubbed the bandit on the head. Alison pulled out Chinese movie moves that weren't even physically possible, especially not in his clothes. Clastro blocked and parried, blocked and parried, dodged and sliced. The bandits arm fell off. The guys stared. Unfortunately, it wasn't the armed arm and so, even though she un-armed him, he still beat her into a wall with his giant spoon. She was out.

"Clastro..." Franko stepped away from the battle and looked over her wounds, leaving Alison to get the crud beat out of him. And crud did fly, like stuffing from a teddy bear. Suddenly, a shrill, terrifying, yet beautiful shriek pierced their ears.
"Stop iiiiiiiiiiiiiit!" The ringing echoed through the cave, and a gaping hole opened up in the ceiling. (Yet, for some reason, no one was crushed by rock.) They all looked up. It seemed to be raining now. They soup got ruined, and the two fighters started complaining about wet clothes. Franko looked up, wondering what miracle had saved him from being crushed. Clastro's was more worried about her ears.

The rain poured down, filling them with a mysterious sense of awe and peace. Cynthia seemed happiest of all. Just then, a light came down and a man with it. He had long hair that flowed like water, and was colored like sunshine. Even before he landed on the ground, with the softest touch, they could see the light in his shining blue eyes. They were like pools of water themselves. Cynthia ran over to the man and wrapped her arms around his neck.
"Alan, oh, Alan. I've missed you."
"I've missed you too, Cynthia." The mysterious man said.

The guys' jaws dropped, and even Clastro looked a little dumbfounded.
"It's been so long since you left, Alan. I-I didn't know if I'd ever see you again."
"And I'm not supposed to see you. But when I heard you were captured so high on the mountain, I had to-"
"Oh, Alan. Thank you."
"You're safe now, that's all that matters."
Alison and the bandit looked at each other. "Wanna hit the town?"Alison asked, and they went.
"Alan," Cynthia wrapped her arms around his back and leaned against his smooth chest. "why can't you come back? Just walk down the mountain, and join us again in the city."
"Oh, Cynthia." He chuckled and ran his fingers through her hair, though he had a sad look in his eyes. "I can't. You know I'm married to the spirit of the sky." Cynthia nodded.
"For the sake of the town." She held him tighter.
"For the sake of the town."

Cynthia released her grip and stepped back. "Go to her." She said. "I'll always have you..." She took his smooth hand, brushed it against her cheek, then placed it over her heart. "Here."
Alan nodded, held her close one last time, and returned to the sky from whence he came.
Cynthia turned to them. Franko was looking at her like a desperate abandoned puppy. "I'm so sorry." She said to him. "I'm... in love."

They quietly made their way down the mountain, admittedly quicker. In hindsight, they couldn't decide if it was because they were going down hill, or because they didn't have Alison with them. With down hearts, they entered the mansion to the welcoming arms of the lord. Cynthia had a happy reunion. Meanwhile, Clastro and Franko decided it was time the three of them left town, just as soon as they found Alison.

Authors note: The size looks way to small to me. It's all screwed up. I've attempted to fix it, but I might have messed it up more. Apologies for the inconvience.